the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
