When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
