??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
