Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
50% drunk capacity currently
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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