also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
