i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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