Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
