If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
