I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize