she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
