we have pet lesbian snakes
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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