we have officially lost it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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