Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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