When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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