you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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