that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
