he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
