WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
one two three fourrrrnication!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Semen is not good for contacts.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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