so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
