it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
