Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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