party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
