I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
