I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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