I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
