dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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