Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
