I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I understand Curling. That high.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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