he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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