I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
