So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
