I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
