Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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