i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We were destined to go to rehab together
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
