You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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