Whod you bang
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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