I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
