i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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