I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
