help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize