we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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