How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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