OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They have beer where we have blood.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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