Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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