If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
