dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
