then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
