just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
