I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
