Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
