she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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