Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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