Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
