I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
