i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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