She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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