Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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