she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I hope mine doesn't look like that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
bring money and cleavage
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
