do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
