There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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