So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize