But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
