dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
