I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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