Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
